SO IT IS WRITTEN; SO LET IT BE DONE

Good Tuesday Morning Guys and Dolls:

I thought I would give you a day of Paraprosdokians today to you can say witty or sarcastic things to the people you run into. For those of you who forgot what Paraprosdokians are: it is a figure of speech which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Now do you understand? Let’s have fun.

THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS HURT YOU. BUT IT’S STILL ON MY LIST.

WE NEVER REALLY GROW UP, WE ONLY LEARN HOW TO ACT IN PUBLIC.

WAR DOES NOT DETERMINE WHO IS RIGHT, ONLY WHO IS LEFT.

WOMEN WILL NEVER BE EQUAL TO MEN UNTIL THEY CAN WALK DOWN THE STREET WITH A BALD HEAD AND A BEER GUT AND STILL THINK THEY ARE SEXY.

BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN IS HIS WOMAN. BEHIND THE FALL OF A SUCCESSFUL MAN IS USUALLY ANOTHER WOMAN.

CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM A VENDING MACHINE.

GOING TO CHURCH DOESN’T MAKE YOU A CHRISTIAN ANY MORE THAN STANDING IN A GARAGE MAKES YOU A CAR. - I LOVE THAT ONE; SO TRUE IN TODAY’S CONSTANT SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT CONVERSATIVE CHRISTIAN THINKING.

I USED TO BE INDECISIVE. NOW I’M NOT SURE.

AND FINALLY – I ALWAYS TAKE LIFE WITH A GRAIN OF SALT, PLUS A SLICE OF LEMON AND A SHOT OF TEQUILA.

HAVE A GREAT DAY GANG.