COURTESY ALONG WITH THE KING'S ENGLISH

Good Monday Morning Gang:

How about that a new little change in my greeting to you all. I hope everyone had a great weekend filled with lots of fun and adventure. I would like to post my thanks to my good neighbor George for helping me pressure wash our house on Saturday. The weather here has been very nice, sunny and highs near 80 degrees. Now I’m ready to start my first post of the week “The English Language, Courtesy and How We Abuse It and Can Improve It.” Don’t get excited I’m not going to preach about punctuation or diagraming sentences. I’m talking about the way we answer back when we are confronted with a question or a request from others; here are some examples on how to improve our responses:

Rosemary will call out to me from the other room JOE! My response is usually WHATTTTTT! This response does not sit well with her. My correct answer should be “YES DEAR, HOW MAY I ASSIST YOU.” Now are you getting my point? Let’s try some more and if we pass this vital information to our younger generation we may see a great improvement in courtesy and use of the English language to all.

Johnny will you please go to the store and get me some milk? The typical response would be “Why do I have to go?” Joey Z’s suggests “Mother, must I go shopping to the peasant market again?”

Bobby please take the dog out to do his duty. Typically “Why do I have to do it all the time?” Try this “Why Mother I would be glad to take Rover out for a bowel movement that would make his day more comfortable.”

An example at work, “I need these figures checked right now.” Your snappy response, “You’re kidding me right! Try “Allow me 1 hour to complete my present task, and I will be more than happy to spend the rest of the morning calculating those figures.”

Avoid a road rage situation when you are cut off by not replying, “YOU %&*%$#@## ASS.” correctly say, “Madam or Sir are you not aware the rules regarding the right of way?” “I would suggest you proceed to the nearest Motor Vehicle Office and secure a driver’s handbook. Depending how crazed the other person looks after such a response you may want get out of Dodge faster than a bat out of hell.

The pizza delivery man brings you the incorrect order, “I didn’t order garlic and anchovies, I wanted pepperoni!” Try a nice reply such as, “I never experienced the taste of that combination I may like the taste, don’t worry about the mix-up.”

Weldon have you finished that science report due tomorrow? “I’ll get started after I’m finished watching Sponge Bob.” One’s face turns red; blood boils and out comes, “Kid I’ll Sponge Bob your butt if you don’t get started NOW.” “Son I’ll be glad to tape the ending of the show, so you can finish the report and get a good night’s sleep with peace of mind."

So there you go Speakies a little language and courtesy training from Joey Z. Have a great and a wonderful evening.