OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES

Good Morning Guys and Dolls:

Going through some of my old papers yesterday, I found excerpts that are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between the 5th and 6th grade ages in a Midwest state. These are for real and I thought everyone could use a laugh today:

Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course spelling!

Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert.

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it.

In the first Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits and threw the java.

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Same to you, Brutus.”

Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. They lived in Italy. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet but her father was having none of that that I’m sure. You know how Italian fathers are.

Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hotey.

Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don’t know why.

Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess.

Well there you go Speakies, hope you had a good laugh, now have a great day and if I don’t speak at you later a great evening.