THE CRAZIES ARE HERE IN GLORY

Hello Speakies:

A noon report from Central Florida where the crazies are acting up. Yesterday three crazies made headlines here.

1. In Winter Garden, Florida an attempted home invader mumbled something about Jesus Christ as he tried to enter the home of a female victim with a kitchen knife but was shut out by the woman. She should have had a shotgun and this bozo would have met Christ in person.

2. Sharpes, Florida a 16 year-old was arrested and accused of wanting to blow up his school. They found bomb making instructions, wire cutters and unspecified ingredients for bombs. The kid will be suspended and is currently being held in juvenile detention. This kid is headed for bigger things in his future. Grind his fingers to the nub. I show no mercy.

3. Polk County Florida, an inmate under detention at a local hospital attacked his guard and made a run for it. In the process he lost his clothes and escaped stark naked. He made it a few hundred yards and was captured. "Naked man never get far."

4. Today out of Orlando, Florida a middle school was put on lockdown, seem that happens everyday down in "O" Town. One student threatened to kill another, middle school yet what the hell is wrong with this scene. Put this kid away in some psycho ward for awhile.

There you have it the Crazies for Today.

HAPPY "B-DAY" GEORGE AND YOGI

Happy Hump Day Guys and Dolls:

We are half-way through the work week Speakies and I hope your day will be a fine one. Here in Central Florida the weather is nice and sunny and highs will be in the upper 80’s. We will be hitting the 90’s by the weekend with little rain in sight.

Two birthday wishes go out today from JoeyZ:

1925 – Lawrence “Yogi” Berra – The creator of Yogism.
1937 – George Carlin – My Man. He sure cursed a lot but his monologues made sense and spoke the truth about our society today. Rest in Peace George.

Some holidays today are:

Donate A Day’s Wages to Charity – Good if one can do it.

National Nutty Fudge Day – Hot fudge nut brownies for everyone. I like hot fudge sundaes myself. My son made some good fudge brownies for us on Mother’s Day as dessert, which followed a great dinner, thanks my son.

National School Nurse Day – They must hear a lot of excuses to skip classes. When I was in high school one of guys took his lunch box down to nurse to have it fixed. Have a great day Nurses, have a drink and call me in the morning.

Receptionists Day – Hope the bosses take you all out to lunch and place a nice vase of flowers on your desk. Have a Wonderful Day.

National Third Shift Workers Day – This one is for you my son. Don’t work to hard tonight.

Now I wish you all a great day and evening. I leave you with another short, concise statement of a principle: “Truth like oil will in time rise to surface.”

GOOD TUESDAY MORNING

Hello Speakies:

Having a busy day today, there's only one good holiday today and I'm sure you all will enjoy "EAT WHAT YOU WANT DAY." Go out there for lunch or dinner and order whatever your heart desires. I may be back later but if not have a great day Guys and Dolls.

ITS MONDAY BUT THE SUN WILL COME SHINNING THROUGH

Happy, Happy Monday Speakies:

Hoping you all had a great Mother’s Day Weekend and all you Moms out there enjoyed your day to the fullest. We have two holidays today Lupus Day and Windmill Day. Happy Windmill Day to all you Guys and Dolls in Holland.

Being its Monday and probably most of you would rather be home or at some beach resort sitting by the pool with a nice Gin and Tonic, here are a few more choice words to blur out at those who may annoy you today:

How about never? Is never good for you?

I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!

And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be?

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Back off! You’re standing in my aura.

Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

And finally - Do I look like a people person?

Better yet Guys and Dolls try to be happy and nice to people I just wanted to make you laugh a little to start your day. Have a good one and like the picture let the sun shine in.

MOMS, IT'S YOUR WEEKEND TO BE THE QUEEN

Happy Friday Guys and Dolls:

Well the weekend is almost here and for all my Moms or Moms-To-Be Dolls this is your weekend to celebrate and be pampered. I chose two songs for this weekend for you to enjoy. The first is “I’ll Always Love My Momma” and the second is “Momma” by Connie Francis. If your Mom is enjoying another life remember her in your heart, thoughts and prayers. So Moms enjoy your day and Happy Mother’s Day on Sunday from JoeyZ.

We have a bunch of holidays this weekend, too many to name but here we go:

Today:

Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day – Always remember the little ones.
No Pants Day – A fun holiday enjoy this one at home.
Tuba Day – Honor those “OOMPAH” players this date.

Saturday:

No Socks Day – That’s me after work, no socks on, let them dogs breathe.
Day of Remembrance for Those Who Lost Their Lives During World War II – Now they gave so we could have our freedom.
V E Day – Victory in Europe Day World War II.
Letter Carrier’s Food Drive Day – I got my food bag yesterday in my mailbox.
Mother Ocean Day – Got to protect Old Mom Ocean and all her creatures.
National Babysitter’s Day – If you are going out this weekend an extra tip would be a nice gesture.
National Miniature Golf Day – Go out and play a little Putt-Putt.
Stay Up All Night Day – I’m lucky to make it to 11 p.m. anymore.

Sunday:

Mother’s Day – It’s your day MOMS. To my Mom, thanks for everything you ever did for me, I still miss you and will always remember and love you. To my wife Rosemary thanks for being the best wife ever and a great Mom to our boys, raising them to be fine young men. I love you very much.

Have a great weekend all.

SEIS DE MAYO AMIGOS

Happy Thursday Guys and Dolls:

Hoping you all had a great Wednesday evening. Let’s check out our celebrations for today:

Joseph Brackett Day – A famous Shaker religious composer.

No Diet Day – I bet all you Dolls like this day and some of you Guys too. Go order that Pepperoni Pizza tonight for dinner.

No Homework Day – All right kiddies I’m for you on this one. Teachers give my kiddies a break today “NO HOMEWORK TONIGHT.”

Nurses Day – If anyone deserves a holiday are the nurses that serve the suffering. As many times as Roe and I have been in the hospital we’ve had some great ones. Enjoy your day Nurses.

National Day of Prayer – Say a little prayer today thanking the Good Lord for what you have in life.

National Day of Reason – Use your noodle wisely today.

Going out for a little Cinco de Mayo luncheon today even though it’s the day after so l will call it Seis de Mayo. Have a great evening Speakies and I leave you with this Chinese aphorism:

“Waiting for tomorrow waste of today.”

THANK YOU JOHNNY A.

Good Afternoon Speakies:

Who says history has to be boring, a good friend of mine Johnny A. sent me a little tid-bit that I’m passing on to you readers.

There is an old hotel/pub in Marble Arch, London England which used to have gallows adjacent. Prisoners were taken to the gallows (after a fair trial of course) to be hung. The horse drawn wagon carting the prisoner was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the wagon outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like “ONE LAST DRINK.” If he said YES it was referred to as “ONE FOR THE ROAD.” If he declined, that prisoner was “ON THE WAGON.” So there you go!

A little more history. They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were “PISS POOR.” But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot. They “DIDN’T HAVE A POT TO PISS IN” and were the lowest of the low.





See history is not boring.

I HAVE TO QUIT WATCHING THE FOOD CHANNEL

Good Morning Speakies:

Another Happy Hump Day to you all unless you are retired and don’t care. Hope I find you all fine and with smiles on your faces. The weather in Central Florida has been sunny and hot with highs in the 90’s. For the next few days those coming to visit can expect highs in the upper 80’s with thunderstorms likely throughout the weekend. No threats yet on any oil spill reaching the coast but they are following it closely down here.

My blog buddy Mack posted a couple of pictures and I had to show them to you. One is of a Tomato Pie coming out of the oven at DeLorenzo’s and the other is a famous Rossi’s Cheeseburger. If you ever visit Trenton, NJ you have to try both places and enjoy their fare. Thanks Mack for allowing me to use your pictures and if any of my readers are from the Trenton, NJ area or Philly area Mack has a lot of sites on his blog that are of interest. His blog is: http://mackstruckofwisdom.blogspot.com/ so check it out.

My BW Roe was driving in the Longwood, Florida area the other day and spotted a Polish restaurant and down the road a bit a German Bar and Grill. Now being Polish my mind was passing along the smell and taste of stuffed cabbage to my inners and maybe a little taste of pierogi’s with cheese, sauerkraut and some filled with meat. My dear granny bless her soul made the best homemade pierogi smothered in butter and onions. If we make it up there you Speakies will be the first to get my review. For the German restaurant my choice for lunch or dinner would have to be sauerbraten with red cabbage and potatoes of some sort. Good fried potatoes would be my choice if available. As soon as we try it, I'll let you know.

A few holidays today to raise our glasses to today:

Cinco de Mayo – That great Mexican celebration everyone in the US gets drunk and eats Tex-Mex food.

Totally Chipotle Day – Coincides with Cinco de Mayo to honor the uniquely Mexican heritage of the chipotle pepper. Chipotles are a very popular kind of smoke-dried jalapeño peppers that are found quite frequently in Mexican and Mexican-American cuisine.

Great American Grump Out – For those of you learning about the Grump Out for the first time, the Grump Out urges people to go for just 24 hours without being grumpy, crabby or rude. So Guys and Dolls get with the program.

Cartoonists Day – Honors all those funny paper guys and gals.

I leave you now with another proverb: “Every maybe has a wife called Maybe-Not.” Enjoy your day and evening and be careful out there.

RESPECT THEM CHICKENS

Happy Tuesday My Guys and Dolls:

Hope you all had a pleasant evening; I did watching one of my favorite shows “Chuck”, good all around show been watching it since the beginning. We have a few holidays today so clank them mugs to:

Childhood Depression Awareness Day – Times sure have changed since I was a kid, never heard about depression then and the only depression I suffered from was going back to school after vacations.

Respect For Chickens Day – This holiday is about promoting the compassionate and respectful treatment of all domestic fowl such as ducks, birds and turkeys even though it’s named Respect for Chickens.

National Teacher Day – If anyone deserves a holiday you teachers do. Have a great day.

Now it’s time for more Dumb Laws and today I’m picking on them Hoosiers from Indiana and even naming the cities. So let’s go see some of them laws:

Beech Grove – It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park – what’s a picnic in the park without watermelon in the summer?

Elkhart – It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid’s ears. – No comment.

Evansville – While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.

Fort Wayne – You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast, the record “It’s In The Book.” – I’m stumped on that one.

Gary – Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater or ride a public streetcar. – Garlic breath, love it.

Enough with dumb laws, tomorrow I may be talking about food, but now I leave you with a Chinese proverb – “Kindness in heart better than gold in bank.”

THIS DAY IS FOR 2 SHOES ERIN

Good Morning Speakies:

Hoping you all had a great weekend and now it’s the start of a brand new week so let’s try to make the best of it. We have some holidays today so here they are:

Garden Meditation Day – Just relax and think garden today sort of a mind melting thing.

Lumpy Rug Day – It is celebrated on May 3rd of each year in the United States. We all have rugs that do not lie smoothly on the floor. Rugs are pushed around, shoved and moved all year long. On Lumpy Rug Day, replace old rugs with new ones.

Paranormal Day – A day for all paranormal enthusiasts to get together and share their unique experiences. Beam me up Scotty.

Melanoma Monday – Get checked once a year and make sure you put on that sun block stuff.

And this next holiday I dedicate to a friend at work Erin, “National Two Different Colored Shoes Day.” – She actually did this at work, but is a good sport with all the ribbing I keep giving her. It’s your day Babe enjoy.

Now its time for “DID YOU KNOW.”

Because metal was scarce in WWII, the Oscars given out were made of wood.
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

And I leave you now with wishes for a great day and evening and with a little aphorism: Guest who lingers too long becomes stale like unused fish.